Thoughts about MEN

Thought 1
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
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Thought 2
The average man's life consists of :
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
And at the end, the mourners wondering too.
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Thought 3
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
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Thought 4
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life."
Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including priest started laughing.... ...... But not the poor groom!
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Smile Pllsss....

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.
The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.
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Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.

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Sardar: Raat bhar train mein neend hi nahin aayee, upar ka seat mila tha…

Dost: Toh exchange kyun nahin kiya Sardar: Arrey bewakoof, kisse karta... neeche ke seat pe koi bhi nahin tha.

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Santa: Is mirror ki kya guarentee hai:

Shopkeeper: Aap isse 100 floor se niche girao, ye mirror 99 floor tak nahin tutega

Sardar: Wah!! Pack it..

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Santa: Parso meri biwi kuwe me gir gayi,bahut chot lagi, bahut chilla rahi thi...
Banta: Ab kaisi hai wo..?..
Santa: Ab theek hi hogi,kal se kuwe se awaz nahi aa rahi hai..

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